Tuesday, November 8, 2011

5 Rolls

Of toilet paper that is.

I tried to stop thinking of it as money down the drain (or literally flushed down the toilet as is the case in this story.) Incredibly difficult to do since that's exactly what it was. FIVE rolls of toilet paper... I'm still slightly seething.

I was indulging in one of those rare mornings as a mother... I got to exercise, I got to take a shower, and I even had time to do my hair and makeup. Yes, I would feel good "pampering" myself and it would be a good day. But my dreams of being that mother faded quickly as I heard a tattling voice yell.

"MOMMY!! Aubrey got the toilet paper wet!!"

I was slightly perplexed. What exactly could this mean? My mind was reeling.

She met me going up, on my way down the stairs. By this time I was concerned. No pants. No underwear. And strands of her hair were dripping.

"Aubrey?... why is your hair wet honey?" I hesitantly asked.

"It got in the toilet," she replied with a smile.

I rounded the corner into the bathroom and fought to keep my composure. How many rolls of toilet paper? FIVE!! I keep a pretty basket in the corner of our downstairs bathroom that holds extra rolls of toilet paper since the pedestal sink doesn't allow for under-sink storage. Just two days ago I refilled it with FIVE extra rolls. All of which now sat in one big soggy wet pile.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!" I cried.

"I know," she replied with a shrug (her version of "I don't know" and her most common answer to everything these days.) But I don't even know why I asked because the situation was becoming apparent by the second. The low water level in the toilet was not due to common "clogging by defecation" (not generally expected of my youngest anyway...) but rather "soaked" up by my FIVE extra rolls of toilet paper! All of which had been placed back into the basket, adhering to one another in an unsalvageable mess.

It took all I had not to unleash the "wrath of the angry mother"...

Things I was grateful for:
- she didn't UN-roll the toilet paper, possibly rendering the toilet semi-permanently clogged
- she managed to do this all miraculously without making a huge wet mess of the entire bathroom
- it didn't involve soap
- there was surprisingly no feces involved
- nothing was broken
- my sweet daughter told me she was "sorry" and I truly believed her

After all... when all was said and done I suppose it's a fortunate thing I was only out FIVE... ROLLS... of TOILET PAPER!!

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