Refelctions

As the year comes to an end I am always forced to look back on the ups and downs of the past 12 months and wonder what is to come in the months ahead. I've never made resolutions. I could never see the point in making grand challenges that would never be met only to leave me feeling like I failed.

This year has been challenging yet rewarding, sad yet joyful, full of struggles yet so full of accomplishments.

We've grown as a family and learned to adapt to our fourth and much loved member, our baby girl. Her rapid changes kept us constantly amazed as she went from a sleeping 6 week old to a walking, talking 13 month old. Brendan's third birthday brought with it a new personality which has been labeled the "horrible threes." We love him dearly and he's a lover at heart. But he challenges his boundaries and tests his independence every chance he gets. He knows his ABCs, counts to 10, uses his manners, hugs his mommy at least 5 times a day, and loves to help in the kitchen (it's no wonder Santa brought him his very own measuring cups and spoons in his stocking this year!)

Joe has stayed busy with work. Even busier since this fall brought an unexpected round of lay-offs that was hard on the entire firm. His work ethic continues to amaze me. The time and effort he puts into the work he does is extraordinary and I feel truly blessed that he works so hard to support us. His second job, the army national guard, on the other hand, has taken away much more time than I'd ever like to accept. One weekend a month, two weeks a year is a load of crap. He spent 6 weekends in a row early this year doing one army function or another which, combined with his civilian job, resulted in 40+ work days in a row and included missing Valentine's Day and my birthday. His commitment is up in July and I'm pushing for his discharge. A decision to make it a career would mean more birthdays missed, more time away and an almost definite one year deployment in the fall. I pray that God will make his plan known in these next few months and that we will all be filled with peace as the final decision is made.

I continue to work part time at the local hospital in labor and delivery and enjoy the flexibility of keeping up my skills but only working a few shifts per month. I've been staying busy mostly being a mom and wife. It's my favorite job in the world despite it's struggles and emotional upheaval. There's nothing like feeling called to provide for your spouse and children and serving them out of love. But I'd be crazy to say that I feel that way all the time (or even a majority of the time) which is how I've come to my own personal goals for the year to come...

-I want to spend more quality time with my children and less time on the computer (at least while they're awake...)

-I want to keep my patience in check, praying for guidance when I need it, rather than yelling at my children and feeling shameful at the looks of fear staring back at me...

-I want to give more of my time helping those less fortunate than myself and stop dwelling on the material things I want...

-I want to serve my husband and children out of love and respect instead of a feeling of obligation...

-I want to be a good example to my children and for them to have fond memories of the things we do together...

And if making small steps in these few simple goals is all I get out of 2010 then I'll still be satisfied.

Here's to a new and adventurous year ahead!